Discipline - my thoughts

Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts and ideas on how I choose to parent. This is not an observation or judgment about you and the way you or your mom/aunt/sister/family dog chooses to parent.

I personally don't believe in spanking/hitting children at all for any reason.
Currently, I also see no need for time-outs for my child, although I may see a benefit to a "time-in" in the future when he's a bit older.
Actually, I don't believe in punishments for small children.
I set limits. I have rules. I teach. Dax has discipline. But he has never been punished. The older he's getting and the more confident I'm becoming in parenting, the less likely I see that he will ever be punished. Would I ever punish my husband for misbehaving? Not really. Adults don't (okay, um, shouldn't) treat each other that way. Not that I treat my son like an adult - he's a child. My expectations for him are different. But that respectful kind of loving relationship - the one that doesn't involve hitting or punishing or withdrawing your love from someone in order to "get back" at them or punish them, that's the kind of relationship I want with my kids.
I've come to believe that punishment doesn't work long term. It only "works" short term, only when you can come up with punishments bad enough to keep the kid obeying your command (easy to do with a small child). There will come a point or an age when nothing you can threaten or bribe to do will be enough. I see Rewards as the same coin of punishment - temporary, short term.
Dax is learning. He doesn't run crazy or wild. He's a normal 2-yr-old. He's energetic. He has a need to run and be active for hours each day. If he doesn't get his energy out, he has trouble obeying house rules. He has a need for at least 12 hours of sleep, otherwise he's cranky and short-fused. He has a need for frequent snacks throughout the day and regular meals - if he's hungry, he's cranky. He tests his limits. That's his job. He's figuring out how his world works. :)

If he makes a mess, I expect him to clean it, help me clean it, or watch me clean it. Not in a punitive way (which is why I don't "make" him clean it). You know what's cool? When he spills his cup of water and immediately runs off to grab a rag to use to sop it up. Or when he spills popcorn or goldfish on the carpet, and goes to get the vacuum so he can clean it up. Why would I punish him for being clumsy? I certainly spill things myself!

If he doesn't stay in the yard when we're outside and I've asked him to - then we go inside.
If he won't hold my hand in parking lots - then he has to ride in the stroller
If he doesn't want to wear his shoes outside - then his feet get dirty and when he steps on a few rocks he changes his mind and asks me for his shoes
If he doesn't want to get dressed - he can't play outside
If he jumps on the bed - he gets kicked out of the bedroom (for a minute or two)
If he touches the stove or opens the running dishwasher - he gets kicked out of the kitchen
I try to keep breakables & sharp objects & markers & poisonous stuff out of his reach
If there's something I absolutely do not want him touching (like my laptop) then I put it away where he can't get to it.

We went to a state park today for 3 hours (until we got rained out, but at least we got in some good outdoor time before the rain came). I take Dax outdoors so he CAN MOVE and get his energy out. Giant empty open field of grass, far away from any street... he ran, he rolled, he jumped. We walked to the splash pad & he got wet. We walked to the rope web climber & he climbed, amazingly high, actually. We walked to the playground and he went down the slide and ran around and played in the sandbox for a while. Then back to the splash pad to clean off before our long walk back to the car.
After I dried him off to walk back to the car, I asked him if he wanted to wear his shirt. He said, "Yes! Shirt on" So I grabbed his shirt and held it over his head.
"Nooo! Mommy shirt"
I smiled. :) This is a new game I've started playing with him. I used to give him a choice between two shirts so he could pick, but that stopped being helpful because he was just refusing both shirts. More choices didn't help, either. So instead, I make a goofy attempt myself to "wear" his clothing - be it his shirt, socks, or shoe. He laughs and gets a kick out of it. Then he tells me that it goes on HIM - silly mommy. He'll even say/sign "Silly Mommy! Hee hee" and happily wear the item of clothing for me.
So I was amused that he didn't want to wear the shirt without our little game.